"Quietened"

I don't even know whether there's such a word as "quietened", but that's what I am starting to feel. I've been here in Ithaca, on my own, for more than a week now. Orientation has begun and ended. Classes have started and I am getting into the rhythm of things by selecting my courses, thinking about my design project and attending my first golf lesson.

This past week, I'm slowly starting to set into a routine; what time to defrost the food, when to start cooking, what time to wake up and when to leave home to catch the next bus. While all these things may seem mundane to many of us, somehow these have become activities that I have paid special attention to. Maybe it's because I am on my own, I could hear myself, my thoughts and my feelings alot better. And that's good, cos I think it has been too long since I last listened to myself.

But I am still working on my ability to listen (and nopes, my ears have not been failing me). I mean, I've grown used to listening to people talk. I've grown used to the noise around me at work, at home and on the streets. But it has been sometime since I last heard myself "think" about things. Somehow, the "noise" of everyday life in Singapore has reduced the sensitivity of me to things that really matter.

Being in Ithaca for the past week alone has once again reminded me of the power of listening, of being intuitive to God, to myself and to the people around me. Although my instinct struggles to revert back to my previous lifestyle of "doing" rather than "being", I thank God for those struggles. Because this means that God is getting my attention, and is guiding me towards something beautiful, I believe. Not that "doing" is anything bad, but "doing" without "being" is totally empty. That, I've realised in many moments of "self-talk" and "self-thought" over the past week.

As I continue to sharpen the sensitivity of all my senses, physical and spiritual, I have come to understand that I can progress no further on this journey that God has promised me unless I quiet down my heart and my soul. And that's all I'm asked to do. Just by learning to quiet down myself, God would naturally show me the beauty around me, which I have grown so accustomed to taking them for granted.

Once I am "quietened", I shall be given the free bus-pass for the journey to Wisdom.